How can one break free from cycles of addiction?

Addictions by nature are gripping and relentless. To break free from them, we need to understand a thing or two about them. Suffice to say that addictions are arguably the most powerful cause of self-sabotage. Just think about the extraordinarily talented celebrities who have been undone by alcoholism or were found dead after overdosing on drugs. An addiction makes you do what you like but not like what you do. In other words, the craving is strong but the effect is detestable. You like to do it but you don’t like what it does to you.

Let’s consider some important truths about addictions. Having an understanding of these truths can mark the beginning of a journey to freedom.

1. An addiction is what you do. It’s not who you are.

I once heard a preacher describe himself as a golfer. Immediately, I thought to myself, ‘No sir. You’re not a golfer. You play golf.’ You see, there’s a difference between those two statements. It takes a lot more to be a golfer than hitting the golf course twice every month. Profession is not synonymous with recreation — one is more identity-defining than the other.

Your addiction does not have to define your identity. You are more than the sum total of your mistakes and limitations. Indeed, breaking free can begin at the point of asking yourself, ‘Who am I?’ and giving yourself the opportunity of connecting with your real essence.

Think about it. The person who sees himself as a responsible father with a gambling problem is bound to get rid of the problem faster than the person who sees himself as a gambler with a 5-year-old son. The idea is not to distort reality. Rather, it is to define it appropriately. Proclivities aside, who really are you?

2. While freedom can be complete and absolute, it hardly ever marks the end of your cravings.

Anyone who has ever fought an addiction understands how fragile simple victories are. Complacency will almost certainly lead you back to where you started. To avoid falling into the perpetual trap of making another promise to God or yourself every time you slip up, you need to identify your triggers and decide on practical steps you will take to nip your cravings in the bud.

You should also note that your cravings will most likely not change. What will change is your response to them. You want to get to the point where you can say, ‘I don’t pick calls from that number anymore.’ Having said that though, you want to also make sure you are not the one making the calls to yourself. I can’t think of anything more counterproductive than that.

3. Addictions are often associated with deeper generational patterns and tendencies.

People with addiction problems are usually perpetuating the limitations they witnessed in the life of a parent and are often at risk of passing those same limitations down to their own children.

Recognizing that the struggle is not just about you can give extra impetus to decide that this struggle has to end with you and will not be perpetuated further. You will not be handing over the baton of indulgent living to your offspring.

As a young boy, I watched my dad kick his addiction to tobacco. I never saw him smoke but I knew he did because I often perceived the odour of stuffed-out cigarette and sometimes noticed an ash tray with cigarette butts in the room where he smoked. I once heard him tell someone the reason he never smoked in the day — “because of my son”. By the time I clocked ten, he had stopped smoking altogether.

4. It is hard to fight an addiction on your own.

In Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12-step program, the fifth step is, ‘Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.’

In dealing with addictions, the acknowledgment of a need for help is an immensely significant step in the journey to freedom. This acknowledgment has to be followed up with the next step — opening up to someone. Doing this deals a death blow to the burden of secrecy — addictions thrive in an atmosphere of secrecy — and the cloak of shame. It will literally feel like letting go of a heavy burden and will set you on the path to complete liberty. There is a verse in the Holy Book which admonishes us to “Confess (our) sins to one another, and pray for one another, that (we) may be healed and restored.” (James‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭AMP‬‬. Emphasis mine). Addicted or not, we can all benefit greatly from following that admonition.

Written by Oluwatotan